Has anyone ever had a worse day than hot dogs? I mean first the World Health Organization comes out with a massive body blow saying that hot dogs give you cancer,

via Reuters

Eating processed meats like hot dogs, sausages and bacon can cause colorectal cancer in humans, and red meat is also a likely cause of the disease, World Health Organization (WHO) experts said.

The review by WHO’s International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), released on Monday, said additionally that there was some link between the consumption of red meat and pancreatic cancer and prostate cancer.

IARC classified processed meat as “carcinogenic to humans” on its group one list along with tobacco and asbestos, for which there is “sufficient evidence” of cancer links.

and then Clear Foods, a food analytics start up, throws the knockout punch by letting us know that they found HUMAN DNA in some of the hot dogs they tested!!!

Of the 345 hot dogs and sausages Clear Food analyzed for this report, 14.4% were problematic in some way. Problems included substitutions and hygienic issues. Substitution occurs when ingredients are added that do not show up on the label. Hygienic issues occur when some sort of non-harmful contaminant is introduced to the hot dog, in most cases, human DNA. Here’s what we found:

Substitution: We encountered a surprising number of substitutions or unexpected ingredients. We found evidence of meats not found on labels, an absence of ingredients advertised on labels, and meat in some vegetarian products.

Hygienic issues: Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples. 2/3rds of the samples with human DNA were vegetarian products.

If I’m going to be honest it doesn’t actually surprise me at all to learn that they found human DNA, because I’m pretty sure that a worker occasionally loses and finger or a limb here and there in the process. I just didn’t NEED to know this information, at all.

But think about it for one second. Besides McDonalds, hot dogs are the only other food type guaranteed to make to make you sick 80% of the time you eat it?

Well maybe Chinese food too but I’m pretty sure they just serve dogs, cats and seagulls. No humans.

Have you ever seen how a hot dog is made? This is so gross!

Rest in peace, hot dogs.

PS – Who eats vegetarian hot dogs? Kind of your own fault if you’re surprised that there’s meat and human parts in those. #justsayin