Alright folks we have a missing kitten in the 5th Ward. Did you hear me? THE. 5TH. WARD!!!
Houdini went missing 36 hours ago near Atlantic and Marchant Streets. Houdini is a tabby cat, under a year old, non neutered, no collar or tags. (grrrr!!!)
Our fugitive has been on the run for 36 hours. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of …. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that’s a big radius! What I NEED out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, boathouse, gatehouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up every 20 miles.
Your fugitive’s name is Houdini. (kind of ironic, no?)
Anyway, please call Nick at 401.226.9987 if you spot him.
5th Ward, folks. 5th Ward!!!! Get out there now and bring this fugitive to justice!