Newport Parking For “Locals”

Parking in Newport, RI

Newport, RI in the summertime is a fun place. Tourists come here to have a good time and a large number of the locals make their money providing that good time (which many of them blow having their own good time). For the most part, this makes for cordial business exchanges. Nobody talks about how they hate having to pay people for beer or steaks.  There is one sector of the economy that is almost universally hated though…PARKING.

Anyone driving into Newport this weekend is going to realize that there isn’t enough parking in Newport and because of something know as supply and demand, what is available is rather expensive. A majority of Newport’s visitors live, work and play in places where parking is plentiful and free.  So when they come in and find out that they’re going to have to pay $5 an hour or $20 for the night for parking, many react as if they’re being charged for breathing air.  This leads to some fiery and occasionally comical exchanges.  Here are a small collection of exchanges that me and my fellow attendants have had over the years:

Woman: “TEN DOLLARS?!? I’m a local!”

Attendant: “Then I’ll need ten local dollars.”

 

Woman: “Twelve-fifty?!?! I can park in Providence all day for five!”

Attendant: “Then park there.”

 

Attendant: “It’s $2.50.”

70-year-old Woman: “Are you talking to me?”

Attendant: “Yes, maam.”

70-year-old Woman:”Well, I’m a local and I’ve never had to pay.”

Attendant: “Well, ma’am, our rates are clearly posted at our entrance.”

70-year-old Woman:”Well, I’m a local and everyone thinks you guys are assholes.”

Attendant: “Well, I wonder what they’d think if they saw you…”

 

Woman: “I’m a local!”

Attendant: “Well, if you have a resident sticker you can park at the Mary Street lot for three hours.”

Woman: “But I’m from Jamestown.”

 

Attendant: “It’s two-fifty.”

Man: “It’s validated.”

Attendant: “That store doesn’t validate for this lot.” [and the clerk would have told him that]

Man: “Well, I’m not paying.”

Attendant: “Sir, it’s two-fifty.”

Man: “You know what…FINE. I’ll pay, but I’m going to pay you in change and make everyone behind me wait!” [It's 2pm on a Tuesday...there's no one behind him.]

Man: “HERE!” [slams change into the attendant's hand, a quarter falls to the ground]

Attendant: “Sir, you haven’t paid.”

Man: “It fell on the ground…you know what, FINE!” [Grabs another quarter and pays]

 

Attendant: “It’s five dollars.”

Woman: “Five dollars?!? I’ve only been here an hour.”

Attendant: “And that’s why it’s five dollars.”

Woman: “Well…good luck getting any variances through the zoning committee!” [Seriously? Someone in our city government is willing to abuse their power over $5?]

Attendant: “Why would the owner want to change anything? They’re making plenty of money as it is…”

So as you can see, in Newport,  the term “local” loosely translated means “whatever I am”.  The funny thing is that real locals don’t cop these attitudes.  They either walk or bike downtown or they know where to park for free…or they’re really good friends with a parking attendant. Secondly, lot of people seem to think that nagging at a parking attendant is going to change anything but how many after-shift drinks he’s going to need to forget about all the jerks he had to deal with that day.  So please, when it comes to parking in Newport, even if you’re not a real local, try to act like one.

-Tristan Pinnock