Budweiser America

Budweiser is changing its name to “America” for 2016

Anheuser-Busch announced Tuesday that the company is replacing its Budweiser logo with “America” on its 12-oz. cans and bottles.

“America’s No. 1 full-flavored lager is taking its longstanding tradition of patriotic packaging even further this summer by replacing “Budweiser” with “America” on the front of its 12-oz. cans and bottles. The brand is also modifying Budweiser’s iconic label to add copy that is central to American history, including phrases from the Pledge of Allegiance and lyrics from “The Star Spangled Banner” and “America the Beautiful.” On shelves nationwide from May 23 through the election in November, these cans and bottles aim to inspire drinkers to celebrate America and Budweiser’s shared values of freedom and authenticity.”

Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! Just wait one damn second. A Belgian owned company is changing the name of its beer to “America” for the election season and we’re just supposed to be cool with it?

And then they’re going to put the Pledge of Allegiance and lyrics from “The Star Spangled Banner” and “America the Beautiful” on the label as well?

As if this 2016 election cycle couldn’t get any more bizarre, Budweiser just straight up jumps the shark.

We all know that Budweiser isn’t an American company, right?

Granted, they’ve been pretending to be America by dominating the Super Bowl commercial game forever. And who doesn’t love Spuds McKenzie, the frogs, the Clydesdales, the “Whaaaattt’s Up Guys” (actually they were terrible), and countless other of their iconic spots?

It’s one thing to pretend to be America but it’s a completely other thing to change your name to it. Could you imagine if every 18-year-old girl pretending to be Kim Kardashian actually started referring to herself as Kim? It would be bizarro world and I don’t want to live in bizarro world. I think we have enough living in banana land when we realize that either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump will be our next president.

So Budweiser, please, we get that your market share has taken a hit with all of the actual good beer on the market thanks to the craft brewers. In fact according to the Wall Street Journal, Americans now drink more craft beer than Budweiser and nearly half of 21- to 27-year-old beer drinkers have never had a Budweiser. Just leave the name alone and we’ll continue to pretend that you have good beer. Cool? Thanks!