“Welcome to debate night Americana style, a nation in the balance,” Colbert said on the “Late Show with Stephen Colbert.” “Tonight, the leading Republican faces off against arguably his greatest opponent, himself. Tonight, it is Donald vs. Trump, or as they are known by their celebrity couple name, Dump.”

Not since the Lincoln-Douglas debates of 1858 has our country seen such brilliance on one stage!

And to borrow a Saturday Night Live moment from the Bush-Dukakis campaign in 1988, here’s every candidate on the Republican side.