They made this ass clown the top vote getter in their caucus.
So you can tell a lot about someone by how they act when no one’s looking.
Like when you’re a douchebag freshman in college and 30 years later your college roommate still hates you.
Here’s what Ted Cruz’s freshman roommate has to say about him.
As a freshman, I would get into senior parties because I was Ted’s roommate. OUT OF PITY. He was that widely loathed. It’s his superpower.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) January 10, 2016
Second memory: Ted would talk about the women he thought he had a shot with. Pretty sure he remained untouched by a woman those four years.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) January 10, 2016
Getting emails blaming me for not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. What kind of monster do you think I am? A really prescient one?
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) January 15, 2016
Ted would leave a greasy film on everything. My friend Erik dubbed the substance “Cruhz,” rhymes with “scuzz.” Now there’s Cruhz on my TV.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) January 10, 2016
And how about Ted talking about his ass sweat?
This dude following Cruz around on the campaign trail. Troll level, expert!
This guy is back at Ted Cruz events in Iowa, now dressed as a Mountie pic.twitter.com/Fyb3qzAc5z
— Katie Zezima (@katiezez) January 23, 2016
Jeb running away and Christie just outright ignoring him.
Lol Ted Cruz wandering awkwardly around the stage and no one wants to talk to him, like every party he went to at Princeton.
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) January 29, 2016
But you know how you can tell when someone is truly detestable? When his kids don’t even like him!
Now we’ve ALL met someone who is just such an apple shining, detestable little prick that always seems to get his way. Ted Cruz is that guy. You don’t want THAT guy to be President of the United States. You don’t. If this ass clown becomes president then we’re all fucked screwed!
Well at least there is good news!
Worried about Ted Cruz winning Iowa? No doubt it would make him as viable as the last two winners: Huckabee and Santorum.
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) December 13, 2015