Alright folks, Stella’s on the loose. Yesterday she got spooked on lower Thames and slipped her collar and has been missing ever since.
So what I’m going to need from everyone from Broadway to Ocean Drive is to drop everything you’re doing at this exact moment and hit the streets looking. It’s a safe bet that she’s still on the island because there is no way anyone would be silly enough to pay the $4.00 toll and judging from the pic she doesn’t appear to be wearing a transponder.
She must be found now!!! Think of how freaked out she’s going to be seeing all of the zombies, Donald Trumps, Cecil the Lions, Kim Kardashians and slutty something-or-others running around town the next two nights.
Please contact 978.870.6024 if you spot her.
PS – Let’s not rule out the possibility that we may be dealing with a dognapping and that some sicko Goody Two-Shoes stole her to complete her costume!