Newport Buzz Emergency Broadcast System: We have a missing kitty near Mt. Vernon Street

Alright folks we have a missing black cat with golden eyes in the Mt. Vernon/Sherman Street area.

Our fugitive has been on the run for 48 hours. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of um…carry the two, uhh, fuck, a shit ton! 192 miles.

What I need out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, boathouse, gatehouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up every 20 miles.

Your fugitive’s name is Finn and he’s very skittish and very friendly.

Please call (401) 500-6126 if you spot him.

And GO!!!!